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Bitchslap.txt
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1998-02-21
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6KB
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152 lines
=======================================
BITCHSLAPPING COURTNEY LOVE:
A Quick Lesson in the Colorado Security
Quick & Dirty by oleBuzzard
Written Today / 07-JAN-96
(c) 1996 <k0p> Communications
=======================================
INTRO
Bitchslapping Coutrney Love? Well allow me to get ahead of myself.
Now see, normally I don't write on local topics. Normally when I
write a text file, the subject matter has fairly universal
applications. But hey, this is a good one, it's easy, and the fact is
Colorado is picking up in popularity nationwide, so what the hell.
Besides , chances are you can pull this one anywhere with a little
research. Alright, now I'm so far ahead of myself I managed to catch
up. As I was saying, "Bitchslapping Courtney Love?" Please, go right
ahead. She'll be playing in Denver, Co., in Summmer 1996, and BELIEVE
ME, the Security is laxed.
CSC
CSC stands for Contemporary Services Corp., a Denver based Seurity
firm that provides Security services for Mass events. What kind of
mass events? Where? Well believe me, the company is a behemoth, and
they provide security ALL over Colorado. Here's some of the regular
events they cover:
* The Denver Avalanche (McNichols Arena, Denver)
* The Denver Broncos (Bronco Stadium, Denver)
* The Denver Nuggets (McNichols Arena, Denver)
* Colorado State Univerity Rams Football (Rams Stadium, Fort Collins)
* Red Rocks Ampitheatre (Denver West)
* Fiddler's Green Ampitheatre (Greenwood Village)
* AFA Falcons (Falcon Stadium, Colorado Spring)
* Colorado Buffaloes Football (Folsom Field, Boulder)
* Colorado Buffaloes Basketball (Coors Event Center, Boulder)
* The Colorado Springs Skysox (Skysox Stadium, Colorado Springs)
* The Colorado Rockies (Coors Field, Denver)
* Elitch Gardens Amusment Park (Denver)
* PGA Tour (Castle Rock)
* LPGA Tour (Castle Rock)
* Estes Park Peoples Festival (Estes Park)
* Aspen Jazz Festival (Aspen)
As you can see, these guys cover ALOT of ground in Colorado. I mean if
it's a major event in Colorado, more than likely these guys are
covering the security. And they ALWAYS cover the events listed above.
Basically these guys are THE security company in Colorado because they
have the ability to get a bunch of people to an event at the drop of a
hat. I mean if somethings impromptu, an event is cancelled and
rescheduled for e next day have it the next day, CSC will be there.
But whats the other side to this, and how does it allow us to
bitchslap Courtney? Well heres the thing: First of all, the starting
(and for most people finishing wage) at CSC is $4.25 an hour. Also,
there is no training program with CSC, just "Watch this area." And
finally, turnover with the firm is extremely high. This is all one big
old equation for lax security. Hell I worked at the place for a week
and got into events for a year afterwards. i mean it's a cakewalk.
Next time you're in Colorado, don't wait in any lines, just goto
wherever a Security figure is standing, and I mean ANY security
figure, and say CSC.
"CSC, oh, cmon in, I guess you guys are meeting upstairs. Do you wanna ride up the hill?"
or
"Alright, let these guys through. CSC has parking right by the door. Just go on up and get your shirt."
or even
"Hey, how ya doin. I heard you guys had a hell of a fight last night at the Fish Concert? Man I wish I could have been there."
It's literally that easy. CSC has complete cooperation with the
Colorado Springs Police Department, Denver Police Department, State
Patrol, Boulder Police Department, Facility Staff at all the events
they cover, I mean they have everybody who matters cooperation.
They've got security up in Colorado. But they're so big they never
know who's working or when and so if you know the secret password,
CSC, you can get in any where, walk around every where, walk past
anybody, and just sit down and enjoy the event. It's that easy! Lets
take a case in point....
BITCHSLAPPING COURTNEY LOVE
LIVE!
At Red Rocks Ampitheatre
One Night Only
COURTNEY LOVE and HOLE
YOU: "Hi, CSC."
GATE GUARD: "Ok, go on up, use the Staff parking and a van will pick you
up to take you up the hill"
YOU: "Thanks."
YOU: "Hi, CSC."
PARKING: "Park over there."
YOU: "Thanks."
YOU: "Hi CSC."
VAN DRIVER: "Hop in."
YOU: "Thanks."
YOU: "Hi, CSC. I'm supposed to work Courtney's Dressing Room."
SECURITY: "Ok, well check in, and grab your shirt. Operations is in
311. Courtney Love's Dressing Room is right over there."
YOU: "Thanks."
at this point you may wanna skip going to Operations and go straight
to Ms. Loves Dressing Room.
YOU: "Hi, CSC, I'm working the Dressing Room tonight."
COURTNEY: "Hi, I'm Courtney Love, you gonna keep me safe tonight"
YOU: "Sure." WHACK!
And that's all there is to it. Keep in mind that upon slapping Ms.
Love you will probably be accosted by real CSC Employees as well as a
number of members from the Law Enforcement Community, and probably
Ms. Love herself. What you might wanna do, is modify step five and
instead of going to Ms. Loves dressing room and smacking her, just go
out to General Admission seating and sit down. Trust me, ther'll be a
million people wlaking around, and nobody is gonna notice you.
OUTRO
Just in case it's of interest to ya, heres CSC's address and phone:
Contemporary Services Corporation
5889 Greenwood Plaza Blvd.
Greenwood Village, CO.
80111
Phone: 303-850-0500
Next time your in Colorado, check out a Concert or a Football
game...on me. And be sure to stop by /<n0wledge phreak <k0p> BBS, and
pick up the latest oleBuzzard T-Philes, only at...
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